Jealous Mother in Law Signs – How to Guide

Jealous-Mother-in-Law-Signs

Jealous-Mother-in-Law-Signs

 

Photo Credit: martinisandmotherhood

Signs You Have A Manipulative Mother-In-Law

We know. She’s a bitch. It’s too bad because she happens to be your wife’s mother. She is going to be part of your family for at least the next thirty or forty years. Argh! How are you going to cope, especially when you see the signs your mother in law is manipulative. It’s like a cancer in the family and you can’t convince anyone else that she is what she is. That’s okay, we’re here.

Here are our top picks of the signs that will reveal that you have a jealous mother in law.

1 – Always, Always, Always, Without A Doubt, She is Right

She is a darling to your face while you are surrounded by others but when you have a little one-on-one conversation or argument with her, you know how it’s going to end. You are going to be wrong. There’s nothing you are going to be able to do about it, either. She is not going to apologize. She is not going to back down. It is her way because she is always right and never, ever wrong. Get used to it. This is going to be a long, long time.

2 – You Are An Insignificant Piece of Shit

She is going to spend time ignoring you when she isn’t spending time telling you she is right. She will not acknowledge anything you say or do. It doesn’t matter how big a deal that award was that you received from the local Rotary Club because she doesn’t care. This is just the beginning of your husband and mother in law problems so settle in and relax. It will get worse.



3 – You Will Never Measure Up

On those rare occasions when she is pleasant and actually speaking to you, she will really be speaking at you. Telling you in her cute little way that you are not good enough for her little girl. You’ll hear this throughout your marriage and possibly after the divorce. She will make a point of being the jealous mother in law without actually showing it to anyone other than you.

4 – She Will Dominate You

In her way to get her way, since she is always right, your lovely mother in law will expect you to perform little tricks that will please her. In other words, when you are anywhere in the same zip code as her, you better behave and do whatever possible to not piss her off. Or, at least that would be the game she will try to play with you. Thought your buddy had husband and mother in law problems? They will pale in comparison to the fun and games soon to fill your life.

Jealous-Mother-in-Law-Signs

 

 

Photo Credit: huffingtonpost

 



5 – Smear Campaign

On the offhand chance you fall a little short in meeting the high standards that your mother in law will impose upon you, expect her to use your failure as fodder for her. She will do everything in her power to let each and every person you have even known how much of a putz you have become since you married her little girl. It won’t be pretty and it won’t go away any time soon. She will reinvent the bad parts even if you didn’t do that yourself.

6 – Expect To Have No Respect Given To You

Another part of the sea of agony we like to call husband and mother in law problems will include respect. Well, actually, it will include the lack thereof. It won’t be you disrespecting her, either. She will bully her way into your life by ignoring all respectful boundaries. She will invade your home, work, personal, vacation and recreation space. Locks, alarms and heavy artillery cannot stop her from making moves just to keep her and her needs fresh and foremost on your mind.

7 – The Wall

If there is a silver lining in all of this, it’ll be where she will build such a thick, massive, tall and incredible wall between you and her. She will use it to withhold her approval, affection, and acknowledgement towards and of you. It’ll include those secret weapons known as the silent treatment, guilt, blame shifting and a whole host of goodies that Catwoman wished she had access to. However, as pointed out, depending on the timing, the wall could be good for you.

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Photo Credit: theyearofhalloween

 



Do Not Try To Do This

Think you just might try to catch some hidden video of this witch in peak performance? Don’t bother. What you see just doesn’t capture very well in video. In fact, jealous and manipulative mothers in law are a whole lot like vampires. Not only will the suck the life out of you, there are invisible when videotaped. We have no good answer as to why that is but if you did accidently snag some footage of her giving you one of her standard Academy Award shows of her being her, as soon as you got to your wife and tried to show her your cover would be blown. You’d be made out to be the bad guy and you could possibly find yourself spending a couple of nights at the local Holiday Inn just for trying to clear you name. Not that this couldn’t be the holiday you were after in the first place. You know, a vacation away from that horrible woman you have to deal with for just a few more decades.

Also, don’t try to put private investigators into the fold. They have mothers in law, too and chances are, your story is pretty lightweight compared to one of theirs. So what is your solution? Well, if you don’t see much of her in an average year, just man up and go with the flow with the knowledge that the pain you are experiencing during the time spent in her presence is only temporary. Rest assured that you will again be back on your home field and away from the torture. Also, be sure to have your wife hand you back your balls when you get home.



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Do Children Really Need Fathers?

tribute-to-a-father

tribute-to-a-father

 Do Children Really Need Fathers?

Recently I read an interesting statement, posted somewhere online by a woman, that do children really need fathers? and a child can grow up more healthy without a father. And she was not talking abusive fathers; she was addressing normal dads.

Let’s pull a small statistics about how “not important” dads are, and we will speak again. Because we love numbers. Numbers you can’t deny. You can try and deny numbers, but you’ll only make yourself look like a fool.

  • 63% of the suicides among teenagers are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census).
  • 90% of all homeless children in the USA are from fatherless homes.
  • 85% of all children who show psychological disorders come from fatherless homes.
  • 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes.
  • 71% of all high school dropouts come from homes without fathers.

As you can see, fathers are not important, clearly. It’s better we have psychopaths, murderers, rapists and suiciders on the US streets.

I’ll not be surprised if people try and question even the US Department of Health. Logic can’t be bought. The logic you either have, or you don’t.



Also, researchers at the Columbia University found that kids living in two-parent households with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink or drug abuse. Losers from the early age. It’s actually not funny, but kind of disturbing and very sad.

85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction)

There’s clearly a problem people avoid, because you probably never read this numbers, yeah? So this info is kind of hidden, not widely available. I recently found these statistics and I was totally mind=blown by the text.

Here some more food for you:

71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]

And something really sad again:

43% of US children live without their father [US Department of Census]

You know, smart individuals say the fathers are normally the counterweight to “mental sickness”. If the father is gone, the scales tips to the side, hitting the rock bottom.

Truth is women need a man so the family can function properly. And we’re not talking “have a man to change the bulbs and do the repairs” here. We’re talking “divorce and single-motherhood hurt the kids”. No dads = no life. Simple as that. Or no dads = lack normal life.

No dads = retarded inadequate incomplete life.



Some kids will later try and fill that “father gap” with drugs, alcohol, violence, or the best variant of all — find a father figure. This could be an older friend, 10+ years older. This could be the grandfather, uncle, cousin, brother of a friend, cousin of a friend.

If someone’s trying to fill a gap, something’s missing.

It’s so obvious.

And the other bad thing about these kinds of situations is that often children will get brainwashed by their single moms. The mom will try and slide her stupid agenda on the nothing unsuspecting kid, which will do some major damage in the long run! Or they will try to compensate the deficiency of specific traits by spoiling the kid and turning it into one huge slimy burger.

Maybe women should start dating men that have a job, want to have a job or business, are responsible, and want to have children. Maybe women should stop dating creeps and “poco locos”.

And oftentimes some women will see this and use it as an AR-15 full with ammo. They will attack with “Men need to step up and do their job” — they will twist the facts. Funny thing is most of the times exactly women initiate the divorces and the courts take children away from their fathers. Fact.

Little girls and boys both need a dad. But boys looks like take the hardest blow. Their self-esteem takes a solid hit, and it starts as early as in the middle school. And about girls, girls will look for men who hold the patterns of a “good dad”. Or they will watch too much movies. Boys on the other side will form themselves after their dads. They will look for their father’s approval in everything they do and copy that behavior, because peoples are social species that mostly learn by copying behavior (copycatting).

Nothing else is too be said for now. Only to be thought.



Tribute to a Father – How To Whatever

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How To Talk To Your Kids About Sex?

man-love-woman

man-love-woman

PHOTO CREDIT:
www.thesun.co.uk

How to Tell Your Kids – What’s Sex?

And there it comes the moment your children are not children anymore. Technically they’re still children, and they’re your children, but they’re not children children anymore, you feel me?

The noises from our bedroom, sometimes we can’t just stop this. It doesn’t work like that. It’s human nature. And children may hear something. Because children first of all hate sleeping, and second-able, little brats love snooping around and overhearing conversations. They’re exploring the new world and who can blame them, nosy motherfuckers.

But a responsible parent will ask himself this question:
“How to tactfully tell my baby that I’m fucking mommy?”

Without dealing permanent damage to the kid, of course. Well, what a question. I don’t think there’s an universal law about this. Being vulgar and explaining biology to your own kin using bad words and profanity I think is the worst way to do it.

I for example never asked anyone. I just figured that out myself. Internet and my outside environment, friends and school taught me everything I needed to know. But again, it’s different. Some kids will directly ask why is daddy beating mommy and mommy’s screaming. Go explain that you’re beating her with your c*ck. That’s a crappy situation indeed.

The “birds and the bees” talk is one that parents often delay as long as possible. Learning about sex is a normal part of every child’s development, and “answering your little brat’s questions in an honest way is the best strategy”… they say in blogs in forums.

Yes, you can read about that in every single website out there because what websites do is — a bunch of editors with skinny funny fingers just copy material one from each other, which is just pathetic. But that’s not every single blog out there! This is HOW TO WHATEVER, the greatest place on Earth!

You came here to learn, and you came here to see a different opinion, and find a solution to your life troubles! You didn’t come here to get your situation sugar-coated by a dude. You came here to become better! Not stay an idiot.

So what’s the best play here?

It’s difficult not to cringe when your daughter asks you for a first time what’s “an anal bead”, or is “Alabama hot pocket” a delicious fucking meal. No, it’s not.

And don’t fucking ask me next time. Jesus fucking christ. You have the internet, darling.

Explaining your children cringe-worthy sexual stuff is a great way to make them feel so uncomfortable and never ask you anything again; never share anything with you. Even when they grow old. I’m pretty sure your daughter won’t be expecting to hear how that Alabama hot pocket is made. By opening up the lips and taking a shit inside. You just went and ruined your own girl’s innocence by explaining to her what an Alabama hot fucking pocket is. “You just open up mommy’s bird, and you take a shit inside.” No. You just don’t explain that to your children. And I don’t think there’s a proper way to explain that. You can’t just substitute words. You can’t say shit is chocolate, because it’s not. You can’t explain that your doongle is just a long stick that’s poking mommy and making her cream all around.

So just tell them to check themselves. 6-year old kids now browse the internet. It’s the 2018, christ. So just let them Google it. They’ll be embarrassed, but at least they’d be embarrassed at themselves, not at yourself. It won’t be directed toward you. And I’m pretty sure they’ll either never Google that again, not in the next 5 years at least, or they will be intrigued and read more, educate themselves. So next time, instead of asking you, they’ll just read. Reading is good. Nobody reads anymore, which is sad. Here, two bunnies with one bullet. You just not only educated your child by doing exactly nothing, but also showed him how to learn himself, herself. Student’s love. Nothing better than feeling the greatest feel in the world, that you did, or learned something by yourself.

And, maybe it’s three bunnies with one bullet. Because asking weird stuff is never okay. Imagine your son asking the school teacher “what’s fucking”? Kids should know what being diplomatic, delicate, discreet is. And again, if not the internet, friends will teach your lil’ brat. Better than you teaching him. When he or she grows, yeah, you can talk. If they initiate it first. But don’t invade anyone’s privacy just for the “sake of education”.

And relax. Don’t start cussing at me yet. I’m pretty sure around 98.5% of the people around the world got their information from friends, not family. What about orphans?

Relax, bro. Everything’s gonna be fine. Everything’s gonna fall on its place. They have sex classes in some of the schools nowadays. I had one, but I already knew it all.

The nature has a weird way of auto correcting everything. A great balancing mechanism that never leaves anyone not knowing basic things.

And your kid’s probably reading this blog now. If not, tell your kid to read. So it can understand, mommy’s screaming cos’ she’s happy, not because she’s hurting.

 

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How To Potty Train a Toddler Survival Manual

How To Potty Train A Toddler

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How To Potty Train A Toddler

Knowing how to potty train a toddler could save your life some day. Have you ever had to potty train a toddler in your life time? Prepare yourself, for the war has begun if you have not potty trained yet. Just like in Predator, “get to the CHOPPA!”. Just when you are thinking this potty training thing shouldn’t be that bad, it takes a turn for the worse like a speeding train about ready to derail.

My first attempt at it I thought hell, this should be easy. WRONG! Screaming like a crazy banshee from hell every time me and my wife would try to put him on the potty. Have you had a toddler scared of the potty? Makes you want to pull your hair out, well of what hair I have left. One attempt after another, “I don’t wanna”. Finally, me and my wife decided to try the reward system. We took a trip down to our local Dollar General to get a bin and fill it up with some cheap toys. Yep, that did not work. Finally, I decided to plop him in front of the television and BAM! He sat there and went.

Am I a how to potty train a toddler guru? Hell no! Not by any means but, you may get some useful information out of this article and maybe a good laugh or two. Or you may just think “hey, this dude sucks!”. So lets get through this, and learn how to potty train a toddler.

 



 

toddler scared of potty

Patience

Patience is key here. If your child is scared of potty, he or she is not going to give you the time of day. If your child is not ready to go then give them space. They will go when they want to go. Well, hopefully if the planet isn’t nuked to smithereens first. Give it a shot for about a week, and if no progress is made, give it a month and try again. Eventually, your will quit being scared of potty.



How Long to Sit on Potty When Training

How long to sit on the potty when training? That is the old age question the Ancient Romans asked. When I finally got my son on the potty sitting in front of the TV, he sat for a good 45 minutes. I would not recommend your child more then 15 minutes at a time. Any longer they are going to freeze their private parts. Hey, you ever get cold nuts? It sucks! You cant play around like that. Least at this point you got your toddler to sit on the potty. We are half way through this nonsense. Thank god right? Don’t worry parents, you will be a how to potty train a toddler master!

 

how long to sit on potty when training

 

Consistency Potty Training

Keeping a schedule on potty training is another big tip the dude abides by. Keeping your toddler on a schedule will get them to understand when they have to go. Try to make them sit on the potty after a meal. Have you ever been at a restaurant and just finished that juicy filet mignon and then all of a sudden. The titanic is sinking Captain! Eventually they will learn and get the feeling of when they have to go to the potty. Hopefully by this point your toddler is not scared to sit on potty.

 

Its a long road ahead and in this how to potty train a toddler journey, hopefully you have competed your mission. May the force be with you on your how to potty train journey, and let me know in the comments how your mission went. Did you succeed? Or did you fail?



How to potty train a toddler – How To Whatever!

 

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